Emotional Intelligence Buy-In – How to Get Interest and Acceptance For EQ in Your Organization

Emotional Intelligence Buy-In…How to create interest and acceptance for the development of emotional intelligence in your organization

You see the possibilities. You recognize that your organization has capable and experienced people with great potential. And you see opportunities in various situations where a lack of people skills sabotages results. You believe in emotional intelligence and you find yourself saying, with some longing and frustration, “How do I get past the belief that emotional intelligence is too “touchy-feely” and doesn’t belong in our workplace?”

In the last 15 years I have heard that question hundreds of times. At first I believed that the question would fade away as more and more case study evidence became available that emotional intelligence, also referred to as EQ, does have a positive impact on the bottom line. Yet while more and more people accepted EQ as valuable in business, there are still a very large number of people and organizations, who cling to the traditional thinking that emotions don’t belong in business.

If you are asking yourself and others the same question, I understand and have some answers for you. Here’s five things to consider and ways to get started.

1. Don’t Take It Personally: The touchy-feely complaint is not personal or even sensible, it’s resistance to change. All of us have many years of social conditioning to overcome. We have been told many times that we shouldn’t cry or “say something nice or not at all,” or frequently in business, “leave your emotions at the door.” And we were not trained to use emotions to inform our decisions but rather to regard emotions as a sign of weakness. With that history, of course I am going to do my best to avoid dealing with emotions. Don’t react, facilitate.
2. You Can’t Reason With Them: One of the reasons that many change initiatives fail is that the change agents only tried to reason with people and to logically explain what good was in the change for them, to convince them the change was a good idea. Successful change requires that people’s emotions be acknowledged and validated. As a facilitator you must provide enough “left brain food” to keep the mind busy while you demonstrate intelligently dealing with feelings with understanding and validation. You may think you must show statistics and bottom line proof. While that is helpful, it is an emotional experience of the benefits that will actually move people to action.
3. Begin With The End In Mind: Where do you want to end up? Do you want to serve up the idea of the month, improve leadership, or transform the company culture? If you are clear on your objective and committed to it, your intention will help you influence minds and hearts. What is your plan for introducing EQ? I have talked with many who want to hold an introductory talk or program in the hopes of making a good impression and creating interest. Have a next step in mind. Maybe your next step is a series of lunch and learn programs. Maybe it is to assess the leaders. Maybe it is to conduct an initial program with thought leaders. Use your first activity to feed the next activity.
4. Get Out Of The Way: I have seen opportunities wasted and programs fail, when the facilitator got timid and apologetic about presenting emotional intelligence. You will need to deal with your own emotions and have the courage of your convictions. If you are reactive you will come across as defensive and you will undermine the value of the message. You don’t need to be a guru or an expert in emotional intelligence to be an effective facilitator of learning and change. You do need to be transparent and available, and be present to the needs and concerns of others.
5. Sharpen Your Saw: There’s no question that the absolute best way to develop emotional intelligence in others is to demonstrate emotional competency yourself. If you really want to be a change agent then prepare yourself with study and practice and learn a system for developing EQ in yourself and others. It is no accident that you are the one who is thinking of leading the way to greater awareness in your organization. As the saying goes, “we teach what we need to learn.” Embrace your role and your learning. You will be an inspiration to others.

Joseph Liberti, President of EQ At Work, consults with organizations and coaches leaders and coaches to develop emotional intelligence. EQ At Work provides certification in emotional intelligence coaching and training at http://www.eqatwork.com.

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